If, like me, you’re both a melancholy brunette (currently) AND a sad woman (always) - today’s been quite the day.

Of course, I’m referring to both the Severance season 2 finale but also the release of Michelle Zauner’s fourth studio album under the moniker Japanese Breakfast ‘For Melancholy Brunettes (& sad women).

I’ve always been a big fan of Michelle Zauner’s work and this album
transported me somewhere new today. If her first two albums were the intro, and third a reset, this fourth one is a plunge
into the unknown, breaking away from the grief, accepting that the joy
isn’t always there and acknowledging the melancholia that hangs us over
daily and trying to make sense of it whilst also not really because
after all what can you do about it? It’s such a superb piece of art,
musically, lyrically, thematically- all of it. Like Orlando, I’m in
love.
Between severance (which I can’t speak too much on because of
spoilers) and this album, today’s been great for just revelling in the
art I love. Which is why I want to talk about it.

I’m a very self aware
person and I’m always thinking about the things I do and how people
perceive me. The world gets worse with each day and I see so many posts and so many links, petitions and crowdfunders. I’m a very online person, part of it an online persona curated to make me seem cooler and more alive than I really am. When I don’t share these things publicly I think- do people
think I’m performing? That I don’t truly care? That it’s all an act when I do? Of course I know this isn’t true and I shouldn’t care but I do
because it’s a human thing to do. But still- it’s all very overwhelming and you
can’t help but feel powerless. So you try and live and do what you can
and hope one day it won’t feel so.

I think I’ve been so laser focused
on art and what it means to me and how it makes me feel instead as a
shield. If I post non-stop about Severance, maybe I’ll be ok. But what does it mean to be ok? Who knows…

I feel like I’m getting off track but it all ties together I promise. Lately I’ve been thinking about what kind of stories I want to write and the
kinds of stories that I have written. About the films and music and books and
poems that speak the most to me. To the things that comfort me, to how I interact with people and what keeps me going.

Do you see where this is going? At the end of it all, there’s only ONE thing that’ll get us through…

On most online platforms, I use the handle ‘thejojoplace’ - it was a name born out of love for the TV show The Good Place. I adore that show with all my heart, because it’s all about how human we all are. How fallible, how silly, how capable of affection we are. How we can all be so much better. How we go about that. It’s not cynical. It doesn’t present a jaded view of life and the world. It’s so sincere in the best way and it captured me from the moment I started it.

There’s this one scene, this one moment, that I think about often. The fate of humanity rests upon one man’s shoulders. He writes himself a note for later, because he won’t be the same when he awakens. It contains the solution to their problems, the golden key to this problem.

When we see the note, it simply says:

To him, the only answer is the person that he loves. Why should it be anything else? There’s only one thing that’ll get us through- it’s love. Love is the answer. God, it’s so simple isn’t it? It all comes back to love. I love to love, and I mean all kinds of love. Platonic love for my friends. The way I love the sun shining on my face. Loving getting into bed at the end of a long day. Loving how a cold glass of water feels. Loving the smiles exchanged with strangers on the bus. Isn’t it so cool to love?

Love is the answer to it all. 

I think it makes a lot of sense. I think I’ve written a lot of words to very simply express my enjoyment of things but hey, I’m a lover. Even if it is sorta more than that. I write because I feel a lot. I always have and always will. Because I think people will understand me better if I spill my heart out. Life is weird and people are weird. I don’t know!

Thinking out loud is shit scary. I’m always scared. I’m a very anxious person. But I would rather be vulnerable and sincere and do it scared than being cynical and jaded. I never want to lose all this love. I want to be as true to myself as I can possibly be, even if I’m worried how people will percieve me, what boxes they’ll put me in. I want to keep loving, and keep making art and keep enjoying art until I take my final breath. There’s gotta be something in that right? Right?

Anyways, go tell the people in your life you love them. Seriously. Love is infinite, you’re not gonna use it all up. Go be shit scared vulnerable! Go love.